As a conscientious seat selector, a below average seating arrangement can ruin an entire show for me. If I’m attending an event in a seated venue, I like to arrive 5-6 hours early to find the optimal seat. This can make an evening out into quite the time commitment- I’m sure many of you can relate! To save us all some time, I’ve compiled a list of the best seats in the Havana theatre. I have taken the liberty to number the seats myself, as the theatre obtusely refuses to do so (even after several strongly worded emails). Now savour the fruits of my last month’s work and research by sitting in these great seats*!
1- Seat 3B
Seat 3B boasts many advantages: a clear view of the stage, robust character, and a warm breeze coming directly from Vent 4. I have started and actively spread a rumor stating that every single Streetfight winner has at some point sat in this chair. Some say the winner dust floats around it. Some say you’ll never truly feel love until you’ve sat in this winner’s throne. These are all lies built upon the rumour I started, but there’s truth in every lie, right?
2- Seat 9F
9F, the seat, the dream, the rumours! Rumour has it Adele wrote “Rumour Has It” while sitting in this chair. Hard to say where that rumour started, seeing as Adele has never been spotted at Havana – but the rumour persists so it must be true!
3- Seat 5A
With a direct view of stage left, it’s hard to beat 5A. Great proximity to bathroom, and a great listener. I told seat 5A all about my recent divorce, and Seat 5A sat there patiently while I cried my heart out. I wish I could say that the performers and other audience members were as supportive. SORRY that my life is hard right now, the show will go on whether I cry through it or not.
4- Seat 16D
Legend has it, this seat was almost on board the Apollo 11 mission. As the story goes it was placed in Bay 2 of the shuttle by Buzz Aldrin (avid theatre goer and lover of Havana’s truffle fries). The seat was unfortunately spotted by head of NASA, Dane Goulding, and deemed unworthy of space travel. Every time I sit in it though I swear I can see the stars, so explain that.
5- Seat AA
This seat is highly contested, but very worth it. I call it “the best seat in the house,” while others call it “just a chair you dragged into the middle of the stage.” I have received many complaints, but this seat is the only 360 degree experience in the building! Look, I’m sorry if you are jealous because you didn’t think of this great view first, but this seat is mine baby and you’re going to have to rip it from my COLD DEAD HANDS.
Some people call me neurotic, others have called me a “seat psychopath,” I call myself prepared! Don’t be a slouch, get the best seat with this fantastic guide!
*If I find you in the seat I was planning on sitting in for a show, I will stop at nothing to get you out. It is also important to note that I often rotate between these five seats throughout the show, so please do not sit in any of them at any time.