MEMO: Re: Urine Incident (PLS STOP!!!!)
I would like to address the situation that took place in studio A last week. Yes, I peed my pants. It was hot out and I had been drinking large quantities of Sunny D all day (it’s very high in vitamin D, which I am deficient in). I had also consumed 750mL’s of water during rehearsal, as my improvisational technique can be quite physically intense. These factors, combined with a timing error which left me without a pre-rehearsal bathroom break, culminated in the event in question. I appreciate that it is abnormal for a grown adult to unexpectedly pee their pants while in the company of others, and I therefore feel a responsibility to address the incident.
First and foremost, I would like to apologize both to those who witnessed the event, as well as those who were caught in the spray. I would also like to apologize for how I acted in the hours following the event. I now understand that it was juvenile of me to pretend that nothing had happened. As some of you pointed out, it was a healthy “torrent of urine” that cascaded down my legs, and I should not have tried to deny it. To try and claim that it was from the outside humidity was childish, and for that, I sincerely apologize.
I would, however, like to ask that we simply stop talking about it on public social media forums (such as the Instant Studios Facebook group). It happened, yes. I trudged through the next two hours of rehearsal, yes. I denied it, yes. I yelled, sure. I cried, of course. The one thing I didn’t do though, was leave, and I think that speaks a lot to my level of commitment to this company.
I now find myself not only with a ruined pair of suede pants, but also with a wounded soul. My true friends will know that I am not normally the kind of girl who pees her pants in public. I ask that we lay this issue to bed, and never bring it up again.
Instant Theatre Gossip Management