Coconut oil is the cure-all miracle drug improvisers have been waiting for. There is no ailment it cannot cure, no skin it cannot moisturize, and no scene it cannot fix. It blows olive oil out of the goddamn park. Coconut oil has become a staple in every other part of our lives, so why not improv?
1- It Will Flush Your Toxins
If you’re in a mid-set slump and need a quick energizer, do a quick oil pull to flush out those pesky toxins! Haven’t oil pulled before? Follow these easy instructions: take a pit stop halfway through your set and just shove a bunch of this oil in your mouth. Once it melts into its liquid state, enjoy the feeling of a heavy dense oil swishing around your mouth. Swish this delightful sludge in and around your teeth – this will help it get to the gums which is where all those notorious toxins allegedly hide (evidence pending). After twenty minutes, spit the wad of toxin-filled oil onto the stage and you’ll re-emerge in the scene energized and cleansed!
2- It Will Create An Automatic Connection With the Audience
If the audience knows that you’re an avid coconut user, they will instantly be more invested in the scene. Coconut oil has been shown to create a bond between people that is stronger than family, love, or life debts. To ensure your audience is aware of your connection to the good oil, keep a bottle handy on stage and use it to solve every problem that arises.
3- It Will Give Your Skin an Unearthly Glow
Once you start using coconut oil as a moisturizer, your face will become so greasy that it will reflect the glow of the lights. With glare reflecting off of every inch of your skin, your scene partner will have no other option but to look you directly in the eyes and connect with you. Once you and your scene partner have connected, the rest of your set will be as smooth as your coconut-infused skin!
4- It Will Be Fun For Your Scene Partner!
Take our word for it and spread a large gob of solid coconut oil on your scene partner’s face! They will love it. No need to check in with them first to see if they’re okay with this kind of on-stage contact, because everybody wants to be initiated into the cool kids coconut oil club! The thing about coconut oil is that not everybody knows how great it is, and it is very important to let them know about it so that they can join the cult! I mean club! Haha!
5- It Will Really Slick Up the Stage
Have you ever been forced to mime ice skating, swimming, or other glide based movement on stage? Gliding on stage has never been easier than when the stage has a thick layer of 100% virgin unfiltered organic coconut oil spread over all over it. Better mime will make your performance more believable, and coconut oil is the only way to achieve it!
What are you waiting for? Slap on some of this gooey miracle oil and start your new improv life!